Finding yourself after going through experiences most don’t go through is something harder then I ever expected. It’s like you just have to complete redefine who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, what you want to do. And the constant pressure of doing that as fast as possible is real. But it takes time. Figuring out who you are is the real fucking deal and for me, I’m still in the process. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I still don’t know if I want to life here or there or if I want to go to university in this country or another. But that’s okay and that’s what I have to accept too. I like to have everything being taken care of instantly but it doesn’t work that way. So it’s okay taking time with everything, realizing what you want to do. But that’s the beauty of life. There are so many options for every single one of us. And we can choose whatever we want. And if it takes one two or three years that that’s cool. No pressure. Just take it at your own pace and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise, because we just overcame that.
I came back almost 3 years ago. It took me one year to get over my parents and another one to just be and life at peace. So now I can finally think about what I want to do. And I have plans. It’s not like I just want to end up at the grocery store for the rest of my life. For now it’s perfectly fine for a while but I want to study. I want to travel and do all the things ’normal’ people do. So I set myself goals. This year I’ll finally start university. I’ll start applying wherever I want to and then figure out where to go. And after that who knows. Nothing is set in stone and I don’t care. Because change is the only constant in life and that’s good.