Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of first impressions. First impressions are a daily thing. Everywhere at any time you make a first impression. Whether it’s at a job interview, or just on the street walking.

So whether or not you like it, it’s inevitable and a constant in everyone’s daily life. But the thing with that is, that most of the time, we don’t think about it. It doesn’t even cross our minds what the first impression, the first thought, the first look at someone is.

But for someone that struggles with anxiety, it’s a bigger deal then we might think. For someone that struggles with anxiety, a first impression is a constant reminder of how do I look, how do act, and most importantly, what does the other person think of me. It’s a tough thing to even think about some days.

The reason why I’m writing about this, is because in 4 weeks I have to attend a very important family event. And even though it’s 4 weeks away, I already think about it. I think about what I should wear, should I wear the very expensive and formal dress that i already own, or should I buy a newer and better one. Do the shoes that I have match the dress, do I need better ones. Will what I already own leave a good impression on other people? Will it be enough? I also think about, if the way I am is good enough? Should I act differently, change the way I talk, smile, act? Or is it enough to make others think that I’m enough, that I’m a nice and kind person.

The event is 4 weeks away and I can’t stop thinking if I will be at the top of my game and leave the perfect first impression.I know it’s ridiculous, I know it’s nothing I should worry about, I know that I’m enough!

But for people like me, with social anxiety, it’s an actual real problem. It’s a constant struggle, and it’s a constant reminder that you’re different, that you have a non fixable situation.

Yes it’s a struggle, yes it’s something you always will have to work on, but it’s also nothing that should hold you back. It’s nothing you can’t work on, it’s nothing that has to control you.

So every day when I experience that, I have to remind myself, I cannot let it go too far, I cannot let it control me. I have to fight it, I have to be stronger.I have to remind myself that I’m good enough, that I can’t control what others think about me. I’m good, and how I am, will be enough.

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