When you’re trying to deal with issues and problems that you’re facing, you’re obviously having a lot on your plate. Therefore it’s quiet easy for others to try and manipulate you and try and confuse you. Trying to find ones tru self is a very sensitive stage in the process of coping, and it makes you extremely vulnerable for all those people to mess with you again. One thing I learned and experienced was, that a lot of people tried to tell me how I should be, they tried to mess with my already low self confidence to tell me otherwise and what I should be like.
And that I find one thing was very hard to not fall for and stay strong. But you have to, you have to trust in your instincts and not listen. You’re trying to build yourself up from scratch basically. So I found some strategies that helped me not fall for it and be stronger then them.
1. I wrote down who I wanted to be.
When I first started to actually think about who I wanted to be, I started to wrote it down. I wrote specifically what I wanted to achieve, what I wanted to believe in and who I not wanted to become. And I kept it. I read it over and over again, to try and remind myself of those things.
2. I wrote post it notes and put them everywhere
I wrote notes of encouragement, that I can do this, that I have the strength, that I’m worth it, that I will not give up, that I’m powerful, that they can’t beat me. And small reminders of my goals. I wrote what I believe in, what i want to achieve, specific goals I had for myself, small reminders of personality traits that I wanted to remind myself of not giving up and not staying strong on. Just tiny things to remind myself that I got this, that all the work isn’t for nothing and it will pay of. And i put them everywhere! Next to my bed, in the bathroom, next to the door on my way out, in my wallet, just basically everywhere where I could constantly see it, and be reminded of it.
3. While being in a situation that might be one of those, asking myself questions about it!
I got into situations, where I could’ve easily be manipulated or been vulnerable a lot. With everyone and then some people I didn’t even expect it off. So I started to ask myself questions. Every time someone said something I want sure what to make out of, i asked myself “is this what I believe in?” “Is this what I want to stand for?” “Is this who i want to be!” And while asking myself that, more and more it got easier to see the games, and I was more and more able to stay true to myself and what I am standing for. It took a while, I’m not going to lie. In the beginning it was hard to detect and I fell for quiet a few people, but the more I worked on it, the better I got. I made fewer and fewer mistakes and I got more and more aware and stronger to fight back. This definitely helped me the most to be honest. And was one of the most important things I did to get myself to where I wanted to be.
4. I believed in myself!
It was something I definitely had to do for myself. I never believed in myself ever before, and when I finally started to realize I had to it changed a lot of things for me. Believing in yourself is super hard to begin with if you’ve never done that, but it’s a game changer. When I finally was strong enough to believe in myself and stood up for that, I felt empowered, I felt strong, ready to take on the world and scream out loud “here I am, come and try me! I’m believe in myself, I’m stronger then your games. You can’t get me!” It made such a huge difference and I’m so glad I was strong enough to do that. And to anyone out there, that is doubting themselves if they’re even able to believe in oneself, YOU FREAKING CAN! YOU’RE STRONGER THEN THEM! AND YOU CAN BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
So these are the things I tried to do, to make myself less vulnerable, and yes I failed. Multiple times over and over again! But all you can do is try, and when I tried hard and long enough you can get there.
There will always be people that will try and do that to you, try and manipulate you and mess with your head. But with enough practice and some confidence in yourself will help and you’ll get there.
I believe in that, because deep deep down in you there’s a fighter that wants to come out and fight with you! You got this, whoever you are reading this, you’re a fighter. Just like me and everyone else that had to go through that!